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Happy Monday, everybody. So another government agency has concluded that COVID came from a lab. I know. And we have a photo of that lab right here. Not that lab, although reports indicate he’s still a really good boy.
This time the revelation comes from the U.S. Energy Department. My first thought? “Well, welcome to the party. You clueless ********.” Sorry. I was off for a few days, I’m cranky. But how is this news? But also, who gives a damn about what the Department of Energy thinks about anything other than energy? Gee, I can hardly wait to hear what the Department of Treasury thinks about my gastro reflux. The news comes from the Wall Street Journal, citing a classified intel report recently provided to the White House and key members of Congress, which includes George Santos, says George Santos. A revised version will be provided to members of the squad once every word is replaced with “racist.”
This is all a year after the FBI concluded the same thing that it probably wasn’t bat soup from a wet market. Hell, it wasn’t even the walnut shrimp from Panda Express. So enjoy as much bat as you want. Just go easy on the breadsticks. Those carry Ebola. No? Alright, fans of breadsticks. Now, the people who want to downplay the news will say that the Energy Department made its judgment with, quote, “low confidence,” which is what Fox says when asked if Kilmeade still works here. And the FBI’s previous conclusion was with moderate confidence. Low confidence, moderate confidence. Why not just replace our government with a magic eight ball? And no, not that eight ball, Hunter, if you’re watching.
Anyway, let’s list who now admits the Wuhan lab was leaker than Joe Biden’s underpants. We’ve got the FBI and the Energy Department as a yes, but the FBI had no comment but promised to raid Mike Liddell’s house again just for the hell of it. Either way, the tide is turning towards something we had already known and got crap for saying so. Here’s a former director of National Intelligence.
JOHN RATCLIFFE: You had these scientists privately in emails conceding, “I don’t know how this occurs in nature.” From the beginning, there has never been an environmental source for COVID-19, which is why you see all of these scientists and now intelligence agencies backing away from prior assessments.
Pretty astute. When something doesn’t occur in nature, well, you would deem that unnatural or manmade. I mean, just watch “The View” for insight. But the White House promises Joe is going to get to the bottom of this.
GREG GUTFELD: IT’S APPARENTLY TRANSPHOBIC TO SUGGEST CUTTING UP KIDS LIKE A THANKSGIVING TURKEY IS HARMFUL
JAKE SULLIVAN: There is a variety of views in the intelligence community. Here’s what I can tell you. President Biden has directed repeatedly at every element of our intelligence community to put effort and resources behind getting to the bottom of this question. If we gain any further insider information, we will share it with Congress and we will share it with the American people.
Get to the bottom of this? Hell, Joe can barely get to the bottom of his morning cream of wheat without passing out face first into the bowl. He can get to the bottom of stairs. That’s usually when he’s walking up them. Fact is, we’ve lost our faith in all these creeps, scientists included. I mean, three years ago, if you told me men had vaginas, I’d say “Someone never played truth or dare.” But now we find science is open to interpretation, but only as long as it strays from the truth. It’s the truth that’s in trouble. Now, you remember the early days when anyone who brought up the lab leak was called the conspiracy theory nutjob? Hell, this show, we’re a bunch of nutjobs.
MATT RIDLEY: We began to find that the wet market theory fell apart and the laboratory leak theory got stronger. They described the spike protein right at the start of the pandemic in this virus. They just don’t point out that it’s got a feature that no other SARS-like virus has ever had in it.
GREG GUTFELD: In a sense, they succeeded in gain-of-function before creating a cage for it. It’s absolutely mind boggling that they did this.
And that was ten years ago, minus six or seven, maybe eight years. But that’s Matt Ridley and me. I’m the handsome one laying out the lab leak with evidence, and we got crap for it as did pretty much anyone else who suggested it. Facebook banned mentions of the leak altogether, with Zuckerberg on the wrong side of history and truth once again. Media outlets from the Washington Post, MSNBC to Scientific American, they either laughed off or attacked those claims. Check out these geniuses.
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MSNBC REPORTER: It’s this question about the Wuhan lab. We know that it’s been debunked that this virus was man made or modified or anything like that.
MSNBC REPORTER 2: But conspiracy theory going around that the coronavirus originated and was perhaps manmade inside a lab in China.
JOY REID: Dr. Anthony Fauci rejected the conspiracy that coronavirus was manmade in a lab in Wuhan, China.
CHRIS HAYES: Both scientists and the U.S. intelligence community agree that this coronavirus was not manmade. That is not a possibility.
With so much egg on their faces, it’s not a face, it’s a frittata. That has eggs in it just in case you guys don’t know. But how can this surprise you? The media is consistently wronger than a waiter asking Joy Behar if she’s eating for two. Remember of course, they said Hunter’s laptop was misinformation. Turned out it was as real as his crack habit. They said gas stoves aren’t being banned. Under the current proposals, they will be. But if I went through every single thing that they were wrong in from Smollett to Covington to the pee tape, cloth masks, don’t say gay, we’d be here till tomorrow morning when they crack open the boxes and unpack the “Fox & Friends” hosts.
Which is why this lab leak story is such a big deal. Because the media and the government tried to hold it back like Eric Swalwell after a cabbage smoothie. Clapping for the fart jokes. You never know. And it’s that cooperation which we should all find disturbing, because it’s not really cooperation. It’s another C-word, “corruption, cover up.” And of what? Could it be that the government used the media to smear the lab leak theory because they were funding the Wuhan Institute and wanted to make sure their hands were clean? Maybe. Maybe not. Still, we need to chase this story down, not only because over a million Americans have died from COVID, but because maybe we’ll finally get the truth and start holding some people, if not a country, accountable. And when that finally happens, the bat soup will be on me.